10 Funniest Sex Acts

Who doesn’t love sex? Answer mostly people that haven’t had it yet or have had bad experience upon bad experience. Never fear though Sweatygooch.com is presenting the 10 Funniest Sex Acts we could locate.

Now we’ve used the usual sources, our friends, our partners, your mums etc. We’ve really gone to town and produced these as being basically the 10 Funniest.

If you have any funnier sex acts let us know by commenting below, or if you’ve tried a couple let us know.

Enjoy

Number 10

Cincinatti Surprise

What is it?
When you take a shit in a pillow case and beat someone over the head with it several times.

An example:
John was being an ass so i gave him the ol’ Cincinnati Surprise!

Number 9

Twisty Koi

What is it?

A sexual act in which a women is hogtied and penetrated with a fish.

An example:
Sorry, dude. Can’t hang out today. I have to hit the aquarium so I can Twisty Koi Rachel tonight

Number 8

Buckin Bronco

What is it?
The Buckin’ Bronco is one of those interesting sex acts that you’re only ever going to be able to use with just one girl. If you find a girl that’ll take you back and do it all over again, well by god she’s a keeper. The Buckin’ Bronco is usually performed doggie style, while in the act you yell out something that’ll really get your partner furious and just she’ll just want to run away. This is the Buckin’ Bronco! Hold on fella, for as long as possible.

An example:
John: “Last night I rode the Buckin Bronco with Stacey by telling her I had aids.”
Nigel: “NO WAY!”
John: “Yeah held on for about 15 seconds!”

Number 7

Docking

What is it?
Real disgusting this one but put in simple terms. Docking is the act of placing the head of ones penis inside the foreskin of another’s penis.

An example:
David and Patrick enjoyed docking immensely because of Patty’s stretchy foreskin.

Number 6

Tarmacking

What is it?
Straddling somebody, taking a dump, and then rocking back and forth, to smooth it out like concrete.

An example:
Peter: “I heard Gareth tarmacked Danielle last night”
Harry: “SICK!”

Number 5

Twig Snap

What is it?
Performed before oral sex. It is usually a humorous though sometimes awkward/angry situation. When a man with an erect penis bends his member in a downward motion, only to release it as said girl is going down on him, having said penis hit said girl in her face.

An example:
Derek: “Yo Paul, Amanda was about to go down on me and I totally Twig snapped her in the cheek”
Paul: “NO WAY!”
Derek: “Yeah man she freaked out after it was so funny.”

Number 4

Donkey punch

What is it?
Inducing an involuntary contraction of the vagina and or anus via a solid punch or blow to the back of the head.

An example:
James: “Yo Terry I donkey punched Laura last night”
*High five*

Number 3

Strawberry Swirl

What is it?
When a girl is giving you head and you blow it on her face then punch her in the nose so she bleeds.

An example:
It was a good strawberry swirl until I realized she was a hemophiliac and she bled to death.

Number 2

Dirty Sanchez

What is it?
When a man and a woman engage in anal sex, the man then takes his penis and rubs it on the girls upper lip leaving a dirty Mexican moustache.

An example:
After having anal sex, Joey gave Melissa a wet dirty sanchez.

Number 1

Panda Goggles

What is it?
After engaging in some experimental anal sex with a female, the male partner rests his soiled testes on her eyes

An example:
Colin and Edith had some rough anal sex that night, so Colin took the opportunity to give Edith a wet pair of Panda Goggles.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Safe Sex / Campaign Ask (slideshare.net)
• Don’t spit. Swallow! (darkerme.com)
• Campaign Ask For Safe Sex (slideshare.net)
• Duck Sex: Competition between sexes leads to crazy anatomy (boingboing.net)
• “The Fascinating World Of Fruit Bat Fellatio” (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)

Incoming search terms:

• gemma atkinson anal (25)
• Is ludi delfino engaged? (1)